Episode 1: A Story of Love, Faith, and Companionship

Hiba: 0:00
Assalamu alaikum, I’m Hiba. And I’m Zaid, you’re listening to Diary of a Matchmaker.

Zaid: 0:05
A podcast that will take you into our world as matchmakers.

Hiba: 0:09
We’ll share our experiences and offer advice for the single Muslim.

Zaid: 0:12
So let’s dive in.

Hiba: 0:14
Bismillah, assalamu alaikum wa rahmatullah, welcome to Diary of a Matchmaker. My name is Hiba and on the other mic is my husband and co-host, zaid. Assalamu alakum Wa alaykum as-salam.

Zaid: 0:33
Who are we? What are we doing here? What is this podcast all about? Yeah, so this is titled Diary of a Matchmaker. Alhamdulillah, hiba and I have the privilege of being full-time matchmakers, and it is a service that was born out of our own personal journeys.

Zaid: 0:47
My personal journey finding a compatible spouse spanned about nine years. It started when I was around the age of 25 and I was living in Chicago in my uncle’s basement actually and at the time I noticed that a lot of my friends were getting married Some, in fact, were having children, and so I sensed this sense of pressure to start looking for a spouse. So I did what most people do, which was jumping on apps, matrimonial websites, putting in the word of family and friends, you know, anything that I could find, any avenue I could find I would pursue, and the search went on for a long time and as time went on, the rejections followed. They would usually be for reasons surrounding my occupation or, you know, or my immigration status or all sorts of random things, and I got used to it at some point and until the point where I relocated to Canada and, after relocating and getting settled for some time, my mom suggested that I go for UNRWA with her. So this was December 2016, when I decided to do UNRWA, and before I left, I thought of a dua that was near and dear to me, something that I really wanted. And when I arrived there, you know, I stood in front of the Kaaba, raised my hands and I said, ya Allah, please bless me with a beautiful, compatible spouse, and I completely ma’amu’ah. I came back and I thought, you know, this is it. You know, inshallah, at this point I’ve prayed in the holiest place in the world and my dua is sure to come true. And, of course, that didn’t happen.

Zaid: 2:55
Weeks went by, months went by, and I just found myself repeating the same cycle over and over again. I was back on apps, back on matrimonial websites, putting in the work of family and friends, and I just didn’t seem to be finding any success Until November 2019. I happened to be on this one matrimonial website and I had gone to a point where I said, if I don’t find any success now, I’m just going to accept things the way they are and maybe marriage is just not destined for me. So I suddenly got a message from someone all the way in Jordan, which happened to be Hiba, of course, and she reaches out to me and says you know, I read your profile. I think we have a lot in common. Would you mind if we exchange your contact information? So my mind instantly went towards the negative. I kept thinking you know, I don’t speak Arabic, I haven’t lived in the Middle East. What do I have in common with this person? This is probably a waste of time, but nonetheless, something inside me said I should give it a shot. I have nothing to lose. So I replied to the message after reading the profile and I said, yeah, I think we do have a lot in common. Why don’t we exchange we should exchange contact information.

Zaid: 4:15
So we instantly started talking about art and that was the one common thing that we had that we both were very passionate art lovers. Hema loved classical music and she still does, and I had, and I still do have, a strong love for performance art, live theater specifically. So we started connecting on that and time just seemed to just flow. We connected on art, we connected on TV shows, we loved, and time just went by and we found ourselves to have so much in common that we got to a point where we said we have to address the elephant in the room which is you and Jordan. I’m here. How are we going to make this work?

Zaid: 4:57
And so Hema mentioned that she had signed up for the IGNA convention months prior and that the IGNA convention she signed up for was going to take place in Chicago December, specifically, of that year. And I said great, you know, I’m originally from Chicago, I have friends and family there. Why don’t we meet in person and see if we can make this work? Don’t we meet in person and see if we can make this work? So we agreed to meet in person and then, but by the time that that date approached, we said why don’t we meet with the intention of having our nikah done? It just made so much sense because we had we just had so much in common. So, of course, the next step was speaking to the parents. Heba spoke to her parents. I’m jumping on a Skype call with her parents. Keep in mind I don’t speak Arabic, her parents don’t speak English, so she’s saying they’re translating.

Hiba: 5:48
That wasn’t awkward at all.

Zaid: 5:49
Right. But Alhamdulillah, they gave me their blessings. And then Heba did the same thing with my parents. My parents gave her their blessings and off we were. I’m calling my aunt in Chicago saying, hey, do you mind if I use your basement Because I don’t have time to book a hall? So she said, yes, of course. Then I’m contacting my friends and family telling them hey, I’m having my nikah done on Saturday with somebody that I’m just about to meet for the first time face to face. Um, I’d be honored if you guys honored, if you guys could be there. So, heba and I heba and I we meet tuesday, uh in december, and we literally had our nikah, uh in my uncle’s basement with her parents on skype on december 28th. So what I failed to mention is that when I performed the muhafiz, that was December 28th 2016. So, if you guys connect the dots, my dua was answered three years later.

Hiba: 6:53
SubhanAllah. You know, every time we tell our story, I’m just amazed at, like, all the signs, like Allah was preparing us for something At IKNA convention I wanted to attend, uh, like since, since I got to Jordan so I’m originally from Palestine I went to Jordan to study Sharia and uh, since 2015,. I wanted to attend that um convention and uh, dad was very hesitant. He hesitant. He’s like, okay, when you’re done with your BA, you will talk about it. And subhanallah, like that was. It’s like Allah was putting us in certain places at certain times for us to meet exactly, exactly.

Zaid: 7:36
It’s like what I always tell people at the workshops that you know, even though my dua wasn’t answered when I hoped and expected it to be answered, allah answered them when the time was right for me. And it’s like you said the stars aligned, the doors opened up at the right time and, alhamdulillah, things worked out.

Hiba: 7:53
Alhamdulillah. So, as opposed to your story, I come from the Middle East and things back home work very differently from the middle east and things back home work very differently. We don’t have those options of like matrimonial events and apps and websites and all of that, or just like going to your local imam and asking if he knows somebody. We don’t have those options. Back home things happen organically. I would say A guy notices a girl and he talks to her mom Mom, can you talk to the girl’s mom? They start talking and families visit each other and the options that girls have is just attending weddings, attending events, being seen so that they could be noticed by a guy or a guy’s mother or a guy’s sister and, like families, know each other. Communities are like close right.

Hiba: 8:47
So my parents weren’t that social they still aren’t and I wasn’t that social in terms of attending weddings. I wasn’t big on attending weddings. I spent a lot of my adult years in school and I didn’t meet people and years went by and I didn’t worry too much about it because I said, like it’s about to happen, right when it’s the time’s right, the time’s right, allah will make it happen. But I was approaching my 30 and 30 and I was still single. And it hits me one day like wow, I’m about to say goodbye to my 20s and I’m still single. Maybe I should do something. So. So, subhanallah, by Allah’s qadr, I came across that specific website you were on and soon after I signed up, like you said, I saw your profile and things just happened. And what’s amazing is, like the moment I decided to be proactive, allah opened another door for me. Subhanallah, be proactive, allah opened another door for me yeah subhanallah.

Hiba: 9:55
So, yeah, we had our nikah in December 2019 and and then I went back to Jordan to finish my master’s and USAID went back to Canada. We started planning a very nice outdoorsy wedding, but of course everybody knows COVID happened March 2020. And we ended up being apart for 14 months. We didn’t have a wedding, we didn’t have a wedding, we didn’t have a honeymoon up until now.

Zaid: 10:30
Yeah, but Inshallah it’ll happen one day.

Hiba: 10:32
Inshallah, inshallah, but alhamdulillah. It’s a journey that we cherish and it’s a journey that led us to becoming matchmakers.

Zaid: 10:41
Right, and so I remember it was during COVID. Actually, I was just reflecting back upon my journey trying to get married, right, and so I remember it was during COVID. Actually, I was just reflecting back upon my journey trying to get married and just thinking about all the services and options out there and the situation was bad, and it still is pretty bad. You know, there aren’t many halal options, unfortunately for people, for single Muslims trying to get married options unfortunately for people, for single Muslims trying to get married. So I suggested the idea to Hiba and I said you know, why don’t we build something that’s better, that’s more conducive to Muslims of our generation? That’s, of course, halal and, of course, hiba being the supportive person she is, she was like sure, yeah, let’s figure this out. And we put it on the back burner for a while and because we were just so stressed living apart, but, alhamdulillah, when you came in March 2021, then we sat down, we came up with a name and, alhamdulillah, now we’ve been doing it for two and a half years, so our name is.

Hiba: 11:37
Oh sorry.

Zaid: 11:38
So I was just about to say yeah. So the name of the service is called Halal Match and what it is is basically a private matchmaking service where we work one-on-one with single Muslims across Canada, the US and the UK and we pretty much hold their hand through the process of trying to find a spouse. And the really cool part is that when we do find them a match, we take them out on a double date, so it’s either virtual or in person, depending on location and everything but, um, we’re close to uh closing nearly three years of doing this work. We’ve interviewed hundreds, uh close to maybe a thousand clients now, and we have learned so much, so much over the years and, um, and that was the reason we decided to create this podcast.

Hiba: 12:29
Yeah, so the direct reason for creating this podcast was a friend of mine. When she learned that we’re matchmakers, she got so excited and she’s like you should have a diary or something. Write some of the things you notice, some of the cool things that happen, conversations and stuff and maybe one day you can publish it as a book. And then that idea percolated in our minds for some time. And then we’re like okay, why, instead of writing a book, we can just put all of whatever we want to share in a podcast.

Zaid: 13:05
So the purpose of this podcast is to share what we’ve been seeing for the past three years.

Zaid: 13:10
Like I said, alhamdulillah that we’ve been doing it for nearly three years now and we’ve just come across so many patterns, so many recurring problems and, you know, barriers that people are facing in trying to get married. And our goal through this podcast is to share some of those things, share the solutions that we feel will help people navigate this very difficult journey of getting married, because what we’ve seen over these past few years is that it really is an epidemic now. Because what we’ve seen over these past few years is that it really is an epidemic now. Many people are either delaying marriage for trivial reasons or they’re just not taking the time to understand what a compatible spouse looks like. They don’t know the right questions to ask. So we’re going to be sharing so much um through this podcast and, uh, you know we can’t wait and you know, if there are certain topics or certainly questions that you guys have for us, please feel free to share and we’ll do our best to talk about those things, but this podcast will be about the world of matchmaking the world.

Hiba: 14:21
What happens behind the scenes? How we match people our frustrations, our happy moments, our ups and lows and highs and lows, and some sincere advice as well in our experience. And, yeah, this is it for the pilot episode and inshallah, we will meet next one.

Zaid: 14:44
All right, assalamu alaikum.