EPISODE 51: Hulu’s “Muslim Matchmaker” – How Islamic Is It?

Speaker 1: 0:00
Assalamu alaikum, I’m Hiba. And I’m Zaid, you’re listening to Diary of a Matchmaker.

Speaker 2: 0:05
A podcast that will take you into our world as matchmakers.

Speaker 1: 0:09
We’ll share our experiences and offer advice for the single Muslim.

Speaker 2: 0:12
So let’s dive in. Bismillah, assalamu alaikum everyone, welcome to another episode. My name is Zaid and on the other mic is my wife and co-host Hiba.

Speaker 1: 0:23
Assalamu alaikum.

Speaker 2: 0:24
We are excited for today’s episode. I mean, we’re always excited Of course. But today is a little different because we’re doing something that we’ve never done before, which is reviewing a show. I never thought I’d be reviewing a TV show ever in my life.

Speaker 2: 0:44
Yeah, I mean we’re wearing the critical glasses today, right, um, but we finally got done with a show that’s streaming on hulu and disney plus. Um, it’s a show that’s getting a lot of attention across instagram and it’s called muslim matchmaker. So, of course, naturally, you can tell that this caught our eye because we are matchmakers. Of course, so we were very curious to dive into this show and see what is their process. Are they any different or similar to the way we do?

Speaker 1: 1:15
our work.

Speaker 2: 1:16
And maybe we could learn something. That was our intention going to the show, right?

Speaker 1: 1:20
Yeah, actually I was excited when I heard of it and saw the trailer. I’m like, oh wow, finally Muslim representation on TV and it looked nice. The trailer is so nice.

Speaker 2: 1:30
Yeah, not just that, but the matchmakers themselves wear hijab.

Speaker 1: 1:34
Actually one of them, so their names are Huda and Yasmin. And Yasmin we actually met in person a few months ago. There was a fundraiser for human appeal human appeal um raising funds for gaza, and she was one of the. They had three comedians, stand-up comedians. She was one of them. Her bet was really nice. She talked about the fact that she’s a lawyer, she’s divorced and her experience with her parents.

Speaker 2: 1:59
It was really nice yeah, so a lot of it was relationship-based. But yeah, we we enjoyed it a lot. But you know, we talked to her after and she didn’t mention she’s a matchmaker, which is very surprising because now we saw the show we were like and it took me a minute I’m like that lady looks familiar. We had to look her up and I remembered.

Speaker 1: 2:17
Yeah that this is yasmin the comedian. Would have been a great conversation to have yeah, um, so talking about the show.

Speaker 2: 2:23
Yeah, so talking about the show. So a quick summary of what the show is. It’s pretty much what’s in the title Two Muslim matchmakers in the States matching Muslims, setting them up on dates and providing some guidance and mentoring throughout the process. And in the show you see them jumping on video calls, checking in on them, which is a bit similar to how we do our work, but there’s also a lot of differences which we’ll get into in a bit. So we have four criteria on which we want to evaluate the show. The first one is number one is it Islamically aligned? The second one is the level of information that the show provided, because I wanted to put myself in the shoes of a non-Muslim and as a non-Muslim, am I getting sufficient information about Islam and the world of Muslims in the West or not?

Speaker 1: 3:19
At the end of the day, it’s not a da’wah show, right.

Speaker 2: 3:22
It’s not. It’s not, but when you watch a show, you’re unintentionally looking to learn something. Yeah right, I gave you the example of dope sick, which is an amazing oh, my god, if you haven’t watched it, go watch it.

Speaker 2: 3:34
Yeah, so this after ramadan though, yeah um, if you haven’t seen dope sick it’s. It takes you into the world of pharmaceutical, the pharmaceutical industry and uh, and how drug reps work and and all of that stuff, even though it is dramatized, but it really takes you into that world yeah, the role of pharma and the uh opiate uh problem.

Speaker 2: 3:57
Yes, so when you’re watching a show, you are being transported into this world and you want to see what is this world like? Right, that’s kind of the job of of a producer, director and stuff like that same thing with house md right point number three, um, the overall packaging and aesthetics of the show.

Speaker 2: 4:15
Uh, the music, the, the, the lighting, everything. Now we’re not producers or you know uh people in the entertainment industry, but as an audience member, we can at least give some sort of feedback as to what we felt. And four, and this one’s very important originality. All right, and we’re going to talk a lot about that, and of course, we’re going to talk a little bit about Indian matchmaker.

Speaker 1: 4:40
Wink wink, wink wink.

Speaker 2: 4:43
So oh yeah, and each point we’re going gonna give a rating from zero to ten and then give an average at the end. Yeah, so where do we start about?

Speaker 1: 4:52
can we start with originality please?

Speaker 2: 4:55
all right all right, let’s start with originality, so you would. I’m gonna let you lead this one, because I feel like your blood was boiling because you were talking so much about this one topic.

Speaker 1: 5:05
Okay, Okay. So a disclaimer from the beginning we’re happy for Huda and Yasmeen. It’s great to find a finally Muslim representation on TV.

Speaker 2: 5:15
like we said, yes, we’re trying to be objective. We’re not just bashing the show for the sake of bashing.

Speaker 1: 5:20
You gave it away that we’re bashing. Okay, so we’re not bashing the show. We’re giving, like you said, our unbiased well it is biased somehow.

Speaker 2: 5:29
We’re trying to be objective.

Speaker 1: 5:30
We’re trying to be objective yeah and we might be completely off. So if you disagree with us, if you love the show, by all means originality. So anyone who’s watched uh indian matchmaker would feel that this is an exact copycat of it, like starting with the colors they use, the fonts, the like things about production. Like, for example, when they ask the client what are you looking for? What are your deal-breakers? The way it’s written on the screen, it’s exactly like Indian matchmaker.

Speaker 2: 6:02
And even to add to that like even when they cut back and forth between the date and the interview, it was just like Indian Matchmaker.

Speaker 1: 6:10
Absolutely.

Speaker 2: 6:11
Like the matchmaker is sitting in a room and they’re interviewing them, getting their feedback, and then they’re cutting back to the date.

Speaker 1: 6:16
The filming is exactly the same.

Speaker 2: 6:17
Exactly as if the producers were the same.

Speaker 1: 6:20
Maybe Actually we should have checked. Maybe actually we should have checked. Maybe it’s the same producers even though Indian Matchmaker was on Netflix, but even the way the title is written Muslim Matchmakers it’s the exact same way like Indian Matchmakers same color, same font.

Speaker 2: 6:35
It’s actually singular Muslim Matchmaker Okay.

Speaker 1: 6:38
Like, honestly, if there were no hijabs and if there were no ladies wearing the hijab, you wouldn’t be able to tell that this is a Muslim show or this is a show about Muslims.

Speaker 2: 6:49
So, in terms of originality, I want to talk a lot about the dialogue and the conversations the clients had with the matchmakers and even with friends and family, and it just felt like, and we were on the same page about this. It just felt like, and we were on the same page about this.

Speaker 1: 7:03
It just felt like a lot of islamic language quote unquote was inserted yeah, like completely out of context, like there’s this guy who’s like making a dish with his mom uh, not rehan, what’s his name? Um?

Speaker 2: 7:18
was it rehan?

Speaker 1: 7:19
no, not rehan the noreen’s date. What’s his name? Yeah, fahim so he was cooking with his mom and he’s asking her, oh, is this chicken halal? And his mom, like they’re Muslims, their mom is wearing the hijab and it’s just like you would never ask your mom if the chicken is halal some phrases that all the clients mentioned my halal to haram ratio, which we’re going to talk about it more. Uh, under the how islamically aligned the show is.

Speaker 2: 7:48
But it’s like that phrase made me cringe so much every time I heard it, and it was repeated, so it was repeated.

Speaker 1: 7:54
So it sounded like we might be wrong. But to us it sounded like they’re being fed some lines, some information. I don’t know yeah in terms of production, like, uh, the whole I don’t know the ambience, the music that was used is so much resembled the way that the indian matchmaker was done right the music.

Speaker 2: 8:15
Like you said, um or before, before we started filming, we were talking about the show. That would have been nice if they used some rude, some arab music some pakistani music yeah, like something that would be a reflection of the culture, yeah, um, of the of the clients right, exactly, and there were malaysian people there there was um.

Speaker 1: 8:37
I can’t remember that they were arabs and daisies aflani. Aflani is uh african african African, african American.

Speaker 2: 8:44
Yeah, so it was all just western music it was pop.

Speaker 1: 8:48
So much pop culture show but, you know that we’re gonna discuss more under information information.

Speaker 2: 8:56
Yeah, and the last thing I wanna say is that there were clips of clients praying in the show, which is great. I’m not against that, but it doesn’t. It didn’t seem like it served the show. It didn’t flow. It didn’t flow yeah. Yeah, that it just felt it was inserted and that the producers or whoever was running the show wanted to insert that in to say, oh, here, these are Muslims praying and. Yeah.

Speaker 1: 9:24
Okay, so how much would you give it? On originality Originality.

Speaker 2: 9:31
the only reason I could put it on the scoreboard is just due to the reason that it’s a new concept. It’s the first time this has been done, so maybe give it a two.

Speaker 1: 9:42
Okay, I think I would give it the same number.

Speaker 2: 9:44
Two Okay.

Speaker 1: 9:45
So let’s write it down, because we’re going to calculate later. Yes, so let’s write it down, because we’re gonna calculate later.

Speaker 2: 9:49
Yes, so let’s say two. Okay, um, let’s talk about islamic alignment. So there’s a lot to say here and naturally, we were comparing this to our own service. Now, I don’t want to gloat my own service, but I can’t help to think that what we do for our clients and this is coming from a place of sincerity, not to brag, but I genuinely feel like we do more for our clients than what the matchmakers were doing for their clients here.

Speaker 2: 10:18
And we’ll explain exactly how, because we’ve talked about this in previous episodes, what our process is. But we can kind of roughly go through it again. So in the show show, their process is um, they, they find a match for their client and, uh, they, in many cases they set them up on a blind date, completely blind, completely blind, and they don’t know who they’re going to meet, what the guy looks like, what the girl looks like, core values, expectations marital status.

Speaker 2: 10:49
Marital status nothing and um, and they’re not even meeting up for like dinner or coffee. Actually, some of the dates were, but I believe majority of them were activities based yeah go-karting bowling, flying, flying. Oh yeah, that was one because one of the guys had a pilot license. Yeah, and unfortunately, many of them, many of the double dates did not go well.

Speaker 1: 11:13
Actually, except for Fahim and Noreen, all of them ended up like not working out. Yeah, I think you’re right and we don’t know actually what happened later with Noreen and Fahim. I really hope they got married. They’re so cute.

Speaker 2: 11:26
Yeah, that would be nice. So him, I really hope they got married. They’re so cute. Yeah, that would be nice. Yeah, um, so number one, I gotta state the obvious in islam we do not date, so, however, we do court. Now, what are the parameters and the guidelines behind courting? It’s very basic right. The wali is aware. What else?

Speaker 1: 11:49
You’re not alone at an enclosed area.

Speaker 2: 11:53
Correct.

Speaker 1: 11:54
No touching. Like in some cases there was hugging, they were hugging.

Speaker 2: 11:59
Oh yeah, and then some handshaking.

Speaker 1: 12:01
Handshaking. Okay, handshaking. I mean I’m not going to make a big deal about that, but hugging just didn’t sit well with me.

Speaker 2: 12:07
Yeah, what else? Of course, you’re meeting with the sole intention of marriage.

Speaker 1: 12:14
That’s what they all were doing.

Speaker 2: 12:17
One of them.

Speaker 1: 12:18
Okay, we’re going to talk about Omar.

Speaker 2: 12:21
We’ll talk about Omar in a second. But yeah, you know what? Let’s just talk about Omar right now. So there was a match Mariam and Omar in there and they got set up. I believe it was a blind date and lo and behold, I think it was on the second or third date.

Speaker 1: 12:38
The second, the second date, yeah.

Speaker 2: 12:40
Omar reveals that he was looking to date for at least a year, maybe be engaged for another year then, um, and then have kids and then get me.

Speaker 1: 12:51
Oh, he didn’t want to talk to her father before two years.

Speaker 2: 12:55
Yes, yes, and then get married and then have kids a few years later five years later five years later or something like that. Now mariam just looked at her, looked at him and said straight to his face so you want me to have kids at 36?

Speaker 1: 13:08
and there was this awkward silence and he’s like yeah, oh yeah, he said yeah, and then like there was just, she just had this look and that was the, the straw that broke the camel’s back yeah, yeah, because in the first date there they looked great together, they had chemistry and which we’re going to talk more about, this emotional connection, um, but yeah, it wasn’t until the second date that so, had the matchmakers done their job properly, they would have known that this person is looking to get married soon and she’s serious, and the other person is looking to date for a long time and then get married after god knows how many years, most importantly as a matchmaker.

Speaker 2: 13:45
I would not set up those two exactly so had they done their work right, their job right.

Speaker 1: 13:51
Oh, this reminds me of another thing, just taking it back to originality. So their first date, omar and Maryam’s first date it was a furniture store.

Speaker 2: 14:00
Oh yeah, appliance store, appliance store, yeah, yeah, this is exactly how they did it in Indian Matchmaker.

Speaker 1: 14:09
There was line store. Yeah, this is exactly how they did it in indian matchmaker. There was a date I think it was maybe nadia or something, I can’t remember. Uh, her first date with her match was at a furniture store wow, yeah, so they copied that yeah come on like it’s so obvious anyone who’s watched indian matchmaker yeah, that’s disappointing, that’s disappointing. Okay, so we were talking about how islamically aligned it is yes.

Speaker 2: 14:30
So number one you’re when you are meeting somebody. You’re meeting somebody for the purpose and intention of marriage, so you’re not going to waste time talking about food, about the weather, things like that. You’re going to come prepared with important questions that are going to form the foundation of a potential marriage. That’s the same guidance we give all of our clients before we schedule a double date. And uh, yeah, we have a pre-date call and a post-date call and uh, and it’s very important, they come with this uh, intention and knowledge. But we didn’t see any of that in the show yeah, like one guy guidance or anything like that.

Speaker 1: 15:11
Like, uh, speaking of blind dates, one guy um forgot his name. He was so surprised when he learned from his match on the first date that she’s divorcee.

Speaker 2: 15:21
Oh, poor yasmin. I remember the girl’s name.

Speaker 1: 15:23
Oh, she’s the most beautiful girl I’ve seen, very, very pretty Mashallah mashallah.

Speaker 2: 15:28
So yeah, she went through an unfortunate divorce. Yeah. And then when she mentioned that she was divorced he was shocked the guy just had this look and it’s just like the Mariam and Omar situation. It could have easily been prevented.

Speaker 1: 15:44
Oh, and he also said that he messaged her, texted her God, that’s so awful. He messaged her, texted her God, that’s so awful. He messaged her after that date. Oh, you’re not physically my type, so had he been coached, he would know that this is not the way you speak to a lady, I think. Or had he seen her picture before, he would have known that she’s not his type and he would have spared her this. I don’t know. What do you call it?

Speaker 2: 16:13
Heartache, heartache. Yeah, if there’s one thing I’ve learned, alhamdulillah, doing this work, is that to not take common sense for granted.

Speaker 1: 16:25
You have a friend who says common sense is a rare what?

Speaker 2: 16:28
No one of my co-workers says common sense is a rare what. No one of my co-workers says common sense is a superpower, because she always sees teachers doing stupid things, but regardless, um, but yeah, sometimes guys just, and even girls actually, it’s more so with guys in my experience yeah, yeah just don’t know what to say and what not to say.

Speaker 2: 16:47
You don’t set up a double date thinking that they have the right tools, like, for example, when we do our service, when we put them on a double date number one. We’re with them the entire time and we sit with them in the beginning because we know there’s going to be tension, awkwardness, nervousness, all of that stuff. So we sit with them. We have our specifically designed ice breakers and only after we can gauge that they are comfortable, then we put them in a separate breakout room or, if it’s in person, we’ll go to another table and if they need more time, then we’ll sit with them more, because the goal is to make them feel comfortable, because only when they’re comfortable then they’re going to open up to each other yeah and.

Speaker 2: 17:28
But the other important part of this is that we have activities.

Speaker 1: 17:32
We don’t just let them exactly just you know figure out their conversations yeah we have activities, so they have tools to rely on to diffuse that awkwardness and these questions and activities help them to learn from the beginning if there’s something to work with here or if this person is completely wrong for them. But even before the date, the double date, we tell them about the other person over a video call. Tell them about their core values, their circumstances. They see a picture, they see a video introduction. And how did we learn that blind dates is a recipe for disaster? We learned it by a trial and error.

Speaker 2: 18:12
So yeah, we did our first.

Speaker 1: 18:14
Yeah, go ahead our first uh matrimonial event, we decided we want to set up seven guys with seven girls, completely blind. But after we went through their forms and we saw some level of compatibility, we set them up.

Speaker 2: 18:30
Yes, so each person was carefully screened.

Speaker 1: 18:33
Yeah, how successful was that?

Speaker 2: 18:36
Well, we thought we had one successful match, but then, months later, we found out that it fell apart. So bottom line 0%, yeah, but I don’t want to draw a conclusion just from that one bad experience that blind dates are a bad thing.

Speaker 2: 18:48
Well, that experience and also the show you saw from the show yes, the important thing is that, as a matchmaker, you have a duty to screen, assess compatibility and make sure that the people you are setting up are compatible on multiple levels, not just on the superficial aspects, but on the deeper parts too, Core values, lifestyle expectations, things like that.

Speaker 1: 19:13
I think we went completely off track. We were talking about how Islamically aligned this is, and now we’re talking about the process itself.

Speaker 2: 19:20
That’s fine. Okay, I just want to let this all out.

Speaker 1: 19:24
Yeah, okay, one thing in this how Islamically aligned this? This is this phrase. They kept repeating what’s your halal to haram ratio? I know what is this like. How much haram are you willing to tolerate, or how much haram do you do compared to you?

Speaker 2: 19:40
the halal like yeah and, like I want to take into account that not everybody is this cookie cutter Muslim.

Speaker 2: 19:47
Right, muslims vary across the spectrum.

Speaker 2: 19:49
You have your Muslims that don’t dress modestly, which we saw in the show, and you have your hijabis, which we also saw in the show.

Speaker 2: 19:58
So I guess in that sense they did try to give a representation of different Muslims in the West. So I’m not going to say that the show should have only used Muslims that fit into that mold of a perfect Muslim, because that would be doing an injustice to the Muslims in the West. So in that sense I guess the show did do a fair representation. But, however, I felt that the designers of the show, the producers, they should have had a muslim producer to show that, even though you know there are muslims engaging in haram, what does islam say about what is allowed and what is not allowed? Because, as a non-muslim watching this show, you naturally are going to absorb and learn about this world of islam, right, and you don’t want the non-muslim to take away from this and think that certain haram things are acceptable in islam, because hey, I see these muslims on the show doing these things yeah and it’s okay to do those things.

Speaker 2: 21:02
Just because muslims are doing these things doesn’t mean it’s okay in islam yeah they’re just in a different spectrum. They’re at a different spiritual level yeah and they may be trying to improve or gain a closer connection to allah. Am I making? Sense, or am I just yeah, yeah, yeah, I feel like that they should have been a part of the show, right like an educational aspect hey, if you have a story to tell, we’d love to have you on here.

Speaker 1: 21:30
you’ll find a safe space of listeners who can understand what you’re going through.

Speaker 2: 21:42
So what stood out to us when we were thinking about our service is that we have a supervision element to our double dates. We never leave the clients alone. We didn’t see that in the show. Now let’s talk a little about we talked about actually already Islamic courting right.

Speaker 2: 22:00
Now, had the show revealed that, oh, this girl is getting permission from her wali, or she spoke to her dad, her dad’s aware that she’s meeting a guy, then okay, that’s good. They’re meeting in a public place. The wali is aware they’re obviously meeting for the intention of marriage. There’s no hand-holding, it’s not a private place, everything’s good. But none of that was apparent to us in the show and as the matchmakers, they should have been supervising the double dates, but they didn’t. In one case, huda was just spying on them from her car and then calling Yasmeen saying hey, I’m watching them right now in a creepy way and it looks like it’s going great.

Speaker 1: 22:43
It’s not Islamically aligned, but I don’t think they were chaperoning the other dates because they were happening in different states yes, and they weren’t flying from one place to another.

Speaker 1: 22:52
I think they flew only like once or twice or something. But from what it looked it didn’t like it wasn’t chaperone. Because, yeah, one uh client said to her on the phone we stayed out late and then yasmin was like oh, like somehow trying to say that’s not right because he’s not going to take you seriously or something. Instead, of course, she should have said that that’s haram, you shouldn’t be staying out late with the guy. So this tells you that there is no element of chaperoning. Now somebody could hear this and say we don’t live in an like an idealistic world. Right, we don’t live in an idealistic world.

Speaker 2: 23:28
Right, we don’t live in Saudi or the Middle East.

Speaker 1: 23:31
No, not even that, like you just said, you have your religious people who will not go out alone and stuff, and you have maybe a big portion of Muslims in the West. This is the reality. They date, they go out and this is not a da’wah show. This is just a show to show you reality. Right, it’s a reality show, fair enough.

Speaker 2: 23:51
But as a non-muslim watching this, I’m going to see this as a representation of islam exactly that’s problematic exactly, yeah and so it’s important that the educational element or aspect was somehow weaved into the show. Yeah, so showing somehow through the matchmakers obviously I mean the practicing muslims that this is what islam teaches and this is the reality of what we have here in the west and as matchmakers. This is what we struggle with, and we have to somehow find a way to balance that yeah, and to and to walk that tightrope, yeah.

Speaker 1: 24:26
Like you know, when I watched Indian Matchmaker I got a very good look and understanding of how Desi culture works, their habits, how they get married. The parental involvement, like it, gives you a really good understanding of the culture. I mean, you’re Desi, you would know right, right Well.

Speaker 2: 24:45
I mean it was more reflective of the culture. I mean you’re desi, you would know. Right right, well. I mean it was more reflective of, like, hindu culture.

Speaker 1: 24:49
But I mean there is some overlap because it’s incontinent, yeah yeah, but no, what I was trying to say is indian matchmaker gives you good information, gives you good quality information about the culture and the point is that, as an outsider, you came in and you learned something, exactly but but somebody watching Muslim matchmaker. They wouldn’t okay. So how is this different from like Western culture and how people get matched right?

Speaker 2: 25:14
And the funny thing is talking about that. The advice that we kept hearing is very much what non-Muslims would give their friends. Right. It didn’t seem like there was any sort of Islamic alignment with the advice.

Speaker 1: 25:28
For example, maryam was going too fast with Omar and the advice that Yasmeen gave her was like no slow down, you shouldn’t go too fast, and the advice it felt so general and so Western and this emotional connection and all of that like a lot of mention about developing an emotional connection.

Speaker 2: 25:51
That’s just a western thing. What?

Speaker 1: 25:52
about values? What about expectations? Like there was no mention of that yeah, I mean to be fair.

Speaker 2: 25:59
Yasmin did say so in their rule of three. You go on three days and you have a list of I think is it 300 questions uh, 11 categories, I don’t know how many questions and I don’t know why they didn’t elaborate on that, because that’s important, exactly, but there wasn’t much elaboration on that, on what the questions are. We got a few of the questions during those dates, um, but they didn’t. The questions didn’t seem to go very deep.

Speaker 1: 26:27
No scenario-based questions the clients honestly did say that the questions were great. They wouldn’t have thought to ask these questions themselves. So there’s a lot we didn’t see that wasn’t caught on camera. So maybe the questions are great, we don’t know. But this rule of three, I don’t like it. Like there was I remember this um, which girl there was a match? Like the girl, it was so obvious umnia, umnia and felani. Yeah, it was so obvious from the first date that this is not a good match. Felani was so excited and stuff, but umnia was.

Speaker 2: 27:06
She was giving him the death stare, remember yes, and you know I was so annoyed at Fulani because he would always show up late yeah for the dates or not for the days for the calls yeah and um. And then what ended up happening and this is a hundred percent at the fault of the matchmakers poor fulani flew in to meet umnia and he got stood up.

Speaker 2: 27:29
He waited there for hours and then umnia called him saying oh, after like maybe five hours later messaged him no, called him yeah or he called her and uh, she said yeah, I just got uh done with dinner with my friends.

Speaker 1: 27:42
Yeah and uh and that was it like she stood him up so the thing is, it was obvious from the first date that this is not a good match. And uh, omnia expressed this to the matchmaker, but she kept, she pushed her, she pushed her and uh, like it was meant to be a disaster, like, why waste three months if you know from the beginning this is not a good match? I’m not attracted to them. Why waste three months of your time and their time, exactly?

Speaker 2: 28:11
and with our service, we input a lot of focus and energy into preparing for that one meeting, because in that one, yes, it’s like three hour meeting, but in that one meeting you can assess enough to consider moving forward with this person Right, like as we coach our clients. Like the purpose of this meeting is to see if there is a foundation. Right, to see if there is common expectations, values, goals. Yeah. And from that you can build upon for the purpose of marriage. Yeah.

Speaker 2: 28:45
And you don’t need three dates to do that Over three months, over three months. It’s such a waste of time.

Speaker 1: 28:51
You know what it just occurred to me right now Same way. I don’t mean to be boastful or anything, I’m just thinking about our double dates. So, out of all the double dates we had, it’s either they went great and the couple got married, or big portion of them majority of them didn’t go great and they told us after the meeting that no, this is not a good match. I don’t see a future with this person, which meant that the double date did its job, the questions did their job, and there was just a minority of dates where the match said, yes, I want to pursue this, and then it didn’t work out and they came back to us.

Speaker 2: 29:31
And in those cases when it didn’t work out, it was because of very silly reasons, like in one case, the guy and the girl just didn’t follow up. There was no communication.

Speaker 1: 29:41
So what I’m trying to say is, like you said, why prolong the suffering, right? So the date was the questions we provided in the activities. They helped them assess from the beginning that this is going to be great and they got married, or that, no, this is not a good match. And they didn’t get married, they didn’t continue this and they didn’t waste their time. Yeah.

Speaker 1: 30:03
Yeah, right, yeah, okay, time. Yeah, yeah, right, yeah, okay, no, I I just realized this for, uh, now for the first time, honestly, that it’s a minority of dates, that they said yes and it didn’t work out yeah, now that I think I’m trying to think of specific cases, but you’re right yeah and um, and I didn’t realize that, like, that’s a different way of looking at it, because even if the double dates weren’t successful, they were successful in the fact that they serve their purpose.

Speaker 1: 30:31
Exactly, yeah, I didn’t think about that. Okay, makes me feel good about my service, alhamdulillah, okay. So how much would you rate it in terms of how Islamically aligned it is?

Speaker 2: 30:41
How Islamically aligned it is.

Speaker 1: 30:51
I would have to say zero. No, come on, it’s not like they were drinking alcohol on the show.

Speaker 2: 30:53
Okay, okay, fair enough. I mean they were. They did say inshallah a few times and okay, so I’ll give it a one. No, really, I mean they lose a lot of points because of the sole fact that they’re dating.

Speaker 1: 31:09
Okay, I would give it four, like less than a half.

Speaker 2: 31:14
Why four?

Speaker 1: 31:16
Because at the end of the day, it’s not like they did anything haram on the show. Like clear haram in your face. There were some Islamic references okay they were wearing hijabs, some of them okay which goes under Islamic references. So yeah, I would give it four okay.

Speaker 2: 31:43
I think I can go with a four.

Speaker 1: 31:45
Then, now that we can find the middle ground, if you’re not convinced, three think I can go with a four. Then now that we find them, we can find the middle ground if you’re not convinced three.

Speaker 2: 31:50
I’m gonna go with three okay, okay.

Speaker 1: 31:52
So between three and four, that’s three and a half three point five okay, good, uh, information.

Speaker 2: 31:59
We talked, we already covered that uh, yeah yeah, we covered that

Speaker 1: 32:04
about information um, I okay, I don’t know if this falls under information or not, but I just have to mention it because it made my blood boil. Why the hell was there starbucks coffee and coca-cola on the show, when everybody knows like by now it’s like common knowledge that these two companies are genocide supporters? Yeah, and it’s not like this show was recorded and filmed like three years ago, like the genocide’s been going on for 16 months now, if not more, true, true, and I mean, I am guilty of getting a brownie from starbucks.

Speaker 2: 32:44
Pre-genocide, okay, um, pre-genocide, we were all guilty of getting a brownie from Starbucks pre-genocide, okay, pre-genocide.

Speaker 1: 32:47
We were all guilty of that.

Speaker 2: 32:48
We were all guilty Because we tried looking up when this was filmed and produced. So if it was pre-genocide, then I guess you guys can get somewhat of a pass. But there is no pass if it’s post-October 7th 2023.

Speaker 1: 33:04
Seriously, seriously Like. This is a Muslim show.

Speaker 2: 33:08
Yeah, that is very, very disappointing.

Speaker 1: 33:11
So yeah, that’s not under information, I guess. But yeah, Maybe I don’t know, Maybe.

Speaker 2: 33:19
But yeah, as I mentioned before, I was just very disappointed to not get the Islamic perspective on marriage, on courting, like, of course I’m not looking for a fiqh class, but just a basic understanding where, like, a non-Muslim can come in and say this is a different way of getting married that is working for Muslims. That is unique.

Speaker 1: 33:45
That eliminates all sorts of fahisha yeah, right, like lewdness, yeah, like for a non-muslim to come out of this show and say, oh, I didn’t know this about muslims, I didn’t know this about islam. So how much would you rate it for information?

Speaker 2: 34:01
so they talked about istikharah. They talked about um, what else? I mean, we saw people praying, some people wearing hijab. So in terms of information, I’d give it a four yeah, I’d say the same thing four. Okay, so let’s talk packaging um okay, can I talk? You don’t need permission.

Speaker 1: 34:25
No, because this is like the show is cute. Honestly, anyone, any girl, who saw the show, they would say it’s super cute I hate that word like you’ve ruined the word for me it is super cute. Um, yeah, it’s the colors they use, like the comedy. Yasmin, of course, she’s a stand-up comedian, so that energy shined through the show.

Speaker 1: 34:48
She was so much fun to watch. What else? What else? Yeah, just the overall like filming of the show and production, it was nice. Besides the point that it’s not exactly Islamically relevant, but it was nice to watch.

Speaker 2: 35:05
It was nice, but it was hard to overlook the fact that it was exactly like indian matchmaker. You know, like you said, the, the line, the, the font, the, the way the interviews were done so it’s hard to think about packaging while at the same time not comparing.

Speaker 1: 35:24
Not just comparing, but not keeping that in mind that it’s a copycat actually, we just saw that one of the executive producers of this show is the same one on indian matchmaker yeah, and she has a hindu name, okay, so maybe they were trying. Maybe that’s actually intentional, because people have seen indian matchmaker, they know it, they love it, so they wanted to just take the safer way and present something that people are familiar with.

Speaker 2: 35:56
Maybe, maybe. That’s another conversation for another day and I could talk about that for hours. Actually, I just made this comment before we started filming, that it feels like the quality of TV or the bar is just dropping like we were just reading like reviews on what is it called imbd no indb no.

Speaker 1: 36:22
I okay, you just say it imdb imdb yes okay, okay. We were watching reading reviews and people were like 10 out of 10.

Speaker 2: 36:33
This is amazing, this is I think there were all 10. There must have been at least four or five reviews, and I believe there were all 10 I’m like are you serious? Like come on man, this is no, this is entertainment.

Speaker 1: 36:44
This is at the end of the day.

Speaker 2: 36:46
It’s entertainment, yes, but there’s entertainment, and then there’s good entertainment right Like entertainment that informs you, enlightens you, that really transports you into a new world and teaches you something. I didn’t get that, maybe because I’m Muslim and I know these things thing. I didn’t get that, yeah right, maybe because I’m muslim and I know these things. But like, if I was to put myself in the shoes of a non-muslim and just see this for the first time, I wouldn’t like you said, I wouldn’t see a difference much of a difference.

Speaker 2: 37:15
Yeah, it’s just the added bonus of seeing hijab and people praying and saying inshallah. That’s it?

Speaker 1: 37:20
yeah, I guess. Well, we’ll have to hear from a non-muslim If there are any non-Muslims out there listening to this show? First of all, thank you. We’re very honored that you’re listening to us. Second of all, we’d love to know what you thought of the show as a non-Muslim. Do you think it gave you I don’t know a clear picture or taught you new information about Muslims and Islam?

Speaker 2: 37:44
Even as a Muslim, I just felt like this this is an islamic because I like to be fair. I grew up in a very conservative environment I went to a private islamic school.

Speaker 2: 37:55
I went to a mother’s house for two years, so my worldview was very different. Um, so I have to take that into consideration. But I would have just loved to see and I said this before and I’ll say it again an educational element to the show, just teaching people the very basics of Muslim courting, marriage, how unique it is, how different it is, maybe even as to go as far as an imam just being interviewed for one or two minutes just saying what are the conditions of a nikah.

Speaker 1: 38:30
That would have been great, honestly. That would have been beautiful to see and I didn’t get that. What do you think the reaction of a scholar or a sheikh watching this show?

Speaker 2: 38:41
He wouldn’t get past the first two minutes.

Speaker 1: 38:44
You think so?

Speaker 2: 38:44
He would turn. I guarantee you any respectable scholar would not get past the first two minutes. You think so he would turn. I guarantee you any respectable scholar would not get past maybe five minutes.

Speaker 1: 38:50
I would really love to hear some of the scholars feedback or reaction to this show, or because, at the end of the day, like you said, it’s entertainment. They’re not claiming to be doing any da’wah, or it’s just entertainment, yeah or it’s just entertainment.

Speaker 2: 39:07
Yeah, I don’t know.

Speaker 1: 39:07
Good entertainment, I guess I guess I guess um. So how much would you rate it in terms of um overall production and packaging?

Speaker 2: 39:15
um on its own, trying to take out indian matchmaker and just look at it as its own thing. Um, it was nice. It was clear I could hear everything I was able to, um, connect the stories and everything, so I I’d give it like maybe a six.

Speaker 1: 39:37
Okay, yeah yeah sure same, okay, so let’s average these numbers out okay, uh, wait a six and we have four six plus four plus 3.5 plus two divided by four is 3.8.

Speaker 2: 39:58
Wow okay that’s our score for the show, ladies and gentlemen, okay, so.

Speaker 1: 40:05
I have a question for you. If a producer came to you and offered you this opportunity to have your own show, they’re paying you great money, it’s going to be great promotion for our service and the show is going to come out just like a Muslim matchmaker, meaning they’re not doing haram things there’s no like premarital sex or anything God forbid but there are things that are not exactly in line with Islam. What would you do?

Speaker 2: 40:36
Idealistically speaking, I would say no Because, at the end of the day, I feel and this isn’t to belittle the work of Huda and Yasmeen but I feel that the show was not an accurate representation of Islamic courtship and the Islamic way of getting to know a spouse. So if a producer wanted me to do it just like that, I would say no, as hard as it sounds, and it’s easy for me to say that because I don’t have a million dollar offer in front of me right now. So, yes, sounds, and it’s easy for me to say that because I don’t have a million dollar offer in front of me right now. So, yes, it is very easy for me to say that. But, like I said, idealistically speaking, uh, I would. I would say no because I’m not going to compromise on my religious values. At the end of the day, how would you feel?

Speaker 1: 41:26
I think I would try as much as I can to pressure the producers.

Speaker 2: 41:30
Of course I do the same.

Speaker 1: 41:31
Yeah, to have it the way it should be. But honestly, I would love to tell you that, yeah, for sure I will refuse, but I’m not sure.

Speaker 2: 41:42
Well, yeah, I mean, if you got a million plus offer to do that and you know, at the end of the the day it’s not necessarily haram, but I mean it kind of, is it kind?

Speaker 1: 41:53
of, isn’t, though, at the end of the day, I mean they are dating on the show.

Speaker 2: 41:56
So you do not date.

Speaker 1: 41:59
Dating is haram yeah so but I guess, what about um this thought that they are meeting muslims where they are right now, like they’re not changing. They’re trying to help them where they are right now. So, instead of turning, turning them down and say, no, I don’t want to work with someone like you, at least let’s do the best we can with the circumstance that’s the tricky thing how do you help muslims without compromising on islamic values?

Speaker 2: 42:29
right there is one thing the Prophet would always meet Muslims where they were. He would see companions drinking, companions that would come up to him talking about premarital sex. It’s nothing new. But at the same time, the Prophet never compromised on religion itself for the sake of inviting people to Islam. So, similarly speaking, you don’t compromise on Islam itself for the sake of helping people, even if it’s for marriage. I think that’s just my opinion.

Speaker 1: 43:05
Yeah, because it feels like they’re enabling wrong behaviors.

Speaker 2: 43:08
Right, yeah because it feels like they’re enabling wrong behaviors, right, I guess? I don’t know. I mean, they’re not encouraging them to have premarital sex.

Speaker 1: 43:15
They’re not encouraging them.

Speaker 2: 43:16
They’re not setting up dates at the club or at bars or anything like that, so there, is that aspect?

Speaker 1: 43:24
It’s a gray area, it is a very gray area but.

Speaker 2: 43:27
I don’t know I’m more on the conservative side. I think now that I think more about this because of my upbringing and the environment that I’ve been brought up in. Other people might feel different, but that’s just how I feel about it.

Speaker 1: 43:39
First of all, like we mentioned before, we have nothing against Yasmin and Huda. Actually, we don’t know Huda. We met Yasmin and we absolutely adored her. I’m sure she doesn’t remember us though probably she doesn’t but uh, these are our opinions and feelings about the show. You might have a different view and uh, so that’s number one. Number two I would love to hear from you about the show. What are your thoughts, what are your feelings? And number three is we are taking a break during Ramadan. Inshallah, dedicate some time for Ibadah. It’s a short month.

Speaker 2: 44:14
And to relax our brains and to plan for I don’t know. I guess we could call it season two.

Speaker 1: 44:21
No, let’s not do that. No, that sounds a bit pretentious.

Speaker 2: 44:25
But, however, it is worth mentioning that, alhamdulillah, we are hitting one year.

Speaker 1: 44:30
Yeah, so actually this episode is 51, which means next one 52, that would make it a full year.

Speaker 2: 44:37
Oh, which is going to be next month?

Speaker 1: 44:38
Which is going to be next month Exactly, so yeah, we’re one episode away from hitting one full year, yeah. Honestly, when we started, we didn’t think we can go more than, I don’t know, two months or three months. Yeah, we didn’t think we can go more than I don’t know two months or three months, yeah, but uh, the stories we kept hearing, the uh interviews, we kept uh doing with uh clients and just experiences and experts and listening to you guys as well, it just provided us with more motivation and uh more insight.

Speaker 2: 45:04
Alhamdulillah the ball kept rolling and’s all.

Speaker 1: 45:07
Thanks to you guys for listening and downloading and supporting us. If you need a break between like I don’t know your prayers and reading the Quran and like iftar parties and stuff, or you’re just waiting for iftar. Or you’re just waiting. Exactly, you got 15 minutes to kill. You have no brain energy.

Speaker 2: 45:26
Actually you should be doing dhikr during that time. Okay, not listening to us. Okay, I’ll be fair.

Speaker 1: 45:30
Okay, you are right, if you, if you need a break during the day, uh, you’re welcome to go back to the episodes you missed or you skipped and listen to them, download them, and I guess we will see you after ramadan. Ramadan, mubarak, everyone, we will see you in a month all right assalamu alaikum.